Cute Quotes
"Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere."
George Burns
"If you cannot read this, please ask the flight
attendant for assistance."
United Airlines Flight Safety Brochure
"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The
lesson is 'never try'."
Homer Simpson
"History will be kind to me for I intend
to write it."
Winston Churchill
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a
dog, it's too dark to read."
Groucho Marx
"I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't
it."
Groucho Marx
"Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't
dress."
Joan Rivers
"Is he just doing a bad Elvis pout, or was he born that
way?"
Freddie Mercury on Billy Idol
"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four
Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness.
Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's
you."
Rita Mae Brown
"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching
television by candlelight."
George Globol
Humor is laughing at what you haven't got
when you ought to have it.
Langston Hughes
An inexhaustible good nature is one of the most precious
gifts of heaven, spreading itself like oil over the troubled
sea of thought, and keeping the mind smooth and equable in
the roughest weather.
Washington Irving
I am a great friend to public amusements, for they keep the
people from vice.
Samuel Johnson
There is always some frivolity in excellent minds, they have
wings to rise, but also stray.
Joseph Joubert
WARNING: Humor may be hazardous to your illness.
Ellie Katz
A humorist is a person who feels bad, but who feels
good about it.
Don Herold
A jest often decides matters of importance more
effectual and happily than seriousness.
Horace
A rich man's joke is always funny.
Thomas Edward Brown
People of humor are always in some degree people of
genius.
Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Levity is often less foolish and gravity less wise than
each of them appears.
Charles Caleb Colton
A caricature is putting the face of a joke on the body
of a truth.
Joseph Conrad
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